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http://www.pbs.org/wnet/religionandethics/week142/cover.html
 
Clergy Sex Abuse
June 19, 1998    Episode no. 142
 
BOB ABERNETHY: Welcome back. I'm Bob Abernethy. It's good to have you with us.

We begin this week with stories of trust betrayed, of the abuse ofrelationships between pastoral counselors and those who came to themwillingly seeking guidance and comfort. In our Cover Story, we hearpersonal tales of the sexual relationship that can develop between someclergymen and some women in their congregations. This is a complexworld in which the male pastor is often found guilty of abusing hispower and the woman is usually, but not always, the innocent victim.Our correspondent, Mary Alice Williams, begins her report with onewoman's story of her relationship with her counselor.

Picture of BARBARA COLARELLIBARBARA COLARELLI: And so I started going for therapy like oncea week. I really didn't believe in therapy, but with a priest, youknow, how could you go wrong?

MARY ALICE WILLIAMS: Barbara Colarelli was to learn just howwrong. When she was most vulnerable, after her oldest daughter ran awayfrom home, she turned to the one authority to whom she's given lifelongobedience and devotion, the Catholic Church, in the person of aBenedictine monk named Joseph Chang.

Picture of BARBARA COLARELLIMs. COLARELLI:When the session was over, I stood up to leave, and he stood up to hugme like he always did. He kissed me on the cheek. He was caring, like abrother, that's what I thought. And he kissed me on the other cheek,and then his tongue went in my mouth. And my life has never been thesame since.

WILLIAMS: It was the beginning of an abusive sexual and spiritual bond Barbara could neither break nor reveal.

Ms. COLARELLI: The pain was, you know, not having control of my own life, going back like a puppet.

WILLIAMS (To Ms. Colarelli): You were protecting him?

Ms. COLARELLI: I was going to save his soul.

WILLIAMS: Laura McAlpine was her therapist.

Picture of LAURA MCALPINELAURA MCALPINE (Therapist): She would do what often batteredwomen do, which is they would ignore the contacts of the abuse and justkeep trying to get this person to be good to them, to be loving to themagain, to be in the role that they were supposed to be.

WILLIAMS: When Barbara learned that she was not the only womanthat Chang was involved with, she reported him to his superior, who shesaid mocked her and told her to get herself together.

Ms. COLARELLI:It was more excruciating than what Chang did, because now it had abigger representation. Now this just wasn't a man, now this was theChurch turning their back on me.

Picture of MARK LAASERMARK LAASER (Consultant): What these people are seeking is arelationship with a person who will hopefully help them be closer toGod. That's why it's so powerful, and a sexual relationship between apastor and a parishioner, you know -- the damage that happens isspiritual damage.

WILLIAMS: Mark Laaser, ordained in the United Church of Christ, knows just how damaging. He was an abuser.

Mr. LAASER:I was a sexual addict and involved in pornography and other kinds ofthings, and gradually that addiction crept into my counseling practice.I became sexual with a number of the women that I was working with.

Picture of MARK LAASERWILLIAMS: Laaser is a recovering sex addict who's devoted his life to consulting sexual offenders.

Mr. LAASER:I knew that I was committing sin in my own theological definition, butI had justified it. I had gone through really sophisticated,complicated rationalizations that the relationships that I was havingwere loving, were mutual.

WILLIAMS: As Laaser learned in recovering, cases like this --the betrayal of a sacred trust -- happen, experts say, more than werealize, and they are never consensual.

Mr. LAASER:They may appear to be consenting, they may appear to do behaviors thatseem consenting, but we believe that emotionally and even spiritually,they're not consenting. They don't have the power really to consentmutually in these kinds of situations.






WILLIAMS: Some denominations have adopted codes of ethics toprevent sexual misconduct, along with procedures for handling cases,but few churches and seminaries have prevention programs. This oftenremains a dirty little secret many churches do not handle well. It'susually the woman who gets blamed.

Picture of BARBARA BLAINEBarbara Blaine was one of them. She founded the support group SNAP, Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests.

BARBARA BLAINE (Founder, SNAP): We find that the Churchcommunities want to disbelieve it. They also tend to frequently want toplace blame on the victim. Sometimes they twist the events to thatsomehow they end up putting the perpetrator on a pedestal.

WILLIAMS: Elizabeth Griffin counsels and sympathizes with victims.

Picture of ELIZABETH GRIFFINELIZABETH GRIFFIN (Counselor): Oftentimes you will see thesituation that the victim has been the one to actually pursue and, inmy opinion, seduce the minister.

WILLIAMS: That can be particularly true in the African-Americanchurch, according to author Marcia Dyson, where single women outnumbermen by 3-1. She and her husband, writer Michael Dyson, know first hand.

MARCIA DYSON (Author): You have the cheerleader section wherewomen come to the church specifically not to hear from God so to speak,but to really hear and root on the man of God. They see him as asuperstar.

Picture of MARCIA AND MICHAEL DYSONMICHAEL DYSON (Husband of Marcia Dyson): There's no questionthat I've been sent my share of notes, sent my share of letters, sentmy share of pictures and so on.

Ms. DYSON: No one hascomplimented you all week, no one cares about you as a single mother,and this person, you can go to first as a father figure to say, youknow, "I'm having problems with my children." You might get attached tothat person because they're becoming that person who is nourishing you,so this transference goes on, and for that person, this man becomes God.

Unidentified Man: You have properly positioned yourself for the Lord.

Picture of MARCIA DYSONMr. DYSON:You know, in the black church, there is sensuality, that is the literalembodiment of God, and you're preaching, and you're sweating, andpeople are singing and people are clapping. That's an erotic communion.

WILLIAMS (To Mr. Dyson): I'm going to ask you this question. Have you succumbed to this?

Mr. DYSON:I have myself have succumbed to those pleasures and delights andcontradictions and paradoxes in ministry, so yes, I know first handwhat that means, and I know the strain, I know the pain. I've felt therebuff from my own sense of relationship with God, I've felt thejudgment that comes from having failed an ideal that I aspire to embody.

Picture of MARY ALICE WILLIAMSWILLIAMS: Most states prohibit sexual relations betweentherapists and clients, but exempt religious leaders for fear ofviolating separation of church and state. So because of the Church'sreluctance to deal with these issues, debate over how to handle theoffenders still rages.

Mr. DYSON: We've had eithertwo positions taken. On the one hand, it's to wink as an old boy's cluband say, "Hey, this is what all the guys do, so let's just keepstepping here. Let's pretend that it doesn't exist." On the other hand,I think the other shift would be, "Let's defrock all these ministers,"because if that would be the litmus test for maintaining ministry, awhole lot of brothers and men would have to step aside.

Picture of BARBARA COLEARELLIWILLIAMS: Barbara Colarelli's healing process has been tough.She's been hospitalized, developed eating disorders, and left the faithshe loved. She settled a lawsuit against Chang and the Church. Chang,who admitted having sex with Colarelli but accepted no blame for therelationship, is still a monk.

I'm Mary Alice Williams for RELIGION & ETHICS NEWSWEEKLY in New York.
 

Clergy Sex Abuse

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