The FAQyMe Gene Archive: A Depository of Historic Child Sexual Abuse Data
In the Public Interest by Child Abuse Survivors and their Advocates in their Pursuit of Justice, Recognition, Recovery and Redress.
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Article Category: TFYQA AWARDS
Words from Alice Miller
Description:
Article originally prepared on : 13 July 2008
M
orality and performance of duty are artificial measures that become necessary when something essential is lacking. The more successfully a person was denied access to his or her feelings in childhood, the larger the arsenal of intellectual weapons and the supply of moral prostheses has to be, because morality and a sense of duty are not sources of strength or fruitful soil for genuine affection. Blood does not flow in artificial limbs; they are for sale and can serve many masters. What was considered good yesterday can -- depending on the decree of government or party -- be considered evil and corrupt today, and vice versa.
But those who have spontaneous feelings can only be themselves. They have no other choice if they want to remain true to themselves. Rejection, ostracism, loss of love, and name calling will not fail to affect them; they will suffer as a result and will dread them, but once they have found their authentic self they will not want to lose it. And when they sense that something is being demanded of them to which their whole being says no, they cannot do it. They simply cannot.
This is the case with people who had the good fortune of being sure of their parents' love even if they had to disappoint certain parental expectations. Or with people who, although they did not have this good fortune to begin with, learned later to risk the loss of love in order to regain their lost self. They will not be willing to relinquish it again for any price in the world.
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