Just some thoughts - 07:59, 2006-Jun-30

Had tried on last visit with psychologist to get the interviews with the Catholic commission moving on as some days are better than others and it was a mostly good day when I went for that session. I felt that with the current situation I am in in regards my business that it may have been a means of keeping things going. Was not to be as a phone call yesterday from my psychologist told me that she had rung Sue S's office - we have been waiting to hear for some time in regards this lady's return from overseas as I am to have an interview with her, she is a psychologist appointed by I presume the Catholic Commission. I learned yesterday that she is still overseas and will not be back till September, she is apparently the only person who does this for the Catholic Commission so it is wait once again for that next step. Apparently they were aware of my case although they were not aware that the psychologist had not been paid nor had they re-imbursed me for the several thousand dollars I had spent on counselling services. The commission had told us that he would recommend that I be compensated to the maximum possible and that they would arrange to pay for any future and previous counselling services. There is no mention of the time this takes me away from work and the sometimes lengthy time it takes me to get back into being able to work. The sessions are good as they are often used to settle things such as unwanted recollections and unwanted re-experiencing, I dont re-experience in a visual sense, much of it is recalling conversations, overheard conversations, events - these are often little snapshots of something I know I recall though I dont want to look at them as i know what they are - some are not nice at all and it is often a terribly painful experience emotionally and sometimes physically.

Tend to find myself looking at a part of that day of the journey to Caveat just outside of Yea in Victoria.

I had gotten out of the moving car as it was travelling down the winding dirt road on its way to Molesworth and then to Yea. I had had my feet crushed several times in the door of the car at Caveat when the men who caught me had punched and manhandled me into the car, they had slammed the door on my feet as I was trying to push my way out, the did not hear or acknowledge my screams for help. My feet, the top of the instep on my right foot was banged a number of times with the door locking part and I was punched so hard in the back that I lost consciousness for a moment. I had run several times just after the church service when the priest was saying goodbye to the parishioners. I had finished up hiding behind a statue in a grotto, there were several young boys who had me cornered there as they had been told by the priest to go and bring me back. I lost my shoes there when they were trying to drag me out from behind the statue. Once the men became involved they were able to pull me out and hit my arms till I get go. They carried me to the car, the priest was sitting in the drivers seat, he was smiling and laughing and saying that I was a deceitful and wilful child of the devil.

I had hidden on the floor of the car as soon as it left Caveat I had my face to the window and was looking at them all and screaming for help from them. Some just looked and smiled knowingly to the priest as he drove off.

- enough thought s for today.