My Awakening to Catholicism

As I have already stated I promised that my unborn children would be brought up as Catholic. So my wife could marry in the church of her faith. When we had three children at school and the children were expected to go to mass every Sunday I decided that I didn't want to be a do as I say Dad but I wanted to be a do as I do Dad.

I thought I had better do something about becoming a catholic on the theory that a family that prays together stays together and at this stage I had been very active in my local parish, school and church working bees ,fete and ground committees , building committees weekend camps anything I could be of use to the school and parish I was in. I even sat on the parish council for 3 yrs my wife was parish secretary for years in the parents and friends committee helped out in classrooms when needed . We were a totally committed catholic family.

So I approached the parish priest about becoming a Catholic and he explained the procedure as by taking instructions which I did. And I must be honest I did enjoy them. But at the end of the instructions the priest came up with "OH Ian there is more to being a good Catholic than knowing these lessons off by Heart". Now at this stage I was only a few days off being confirmed so I replied and what's that father, he said"you have to convince me you will be a good catholic, I said surely father this is judgement he said "Oh no Ian it's not judgment but it would be wrong of me to confirm you Catholic if I did not think you would make a good Catholic." And I said well as far as I can see that is judgement, you can go and get F....D this did not appear to worry him unduly but then I said " I am willing to take my chances with God from the pained look on that Man's face it was obvious that he never expected to meet anybody that would suggest he wasn't God.

The whole incident to this day leaves a nasty taste in my mouth, because I feel the priest should have been honest and open about his requirements for me to become a catholic. But all of a sudden I knew why grown men kowtowed so readily to these men in black dresses. In my flavour of religion (mongrel bred Christian) I am still willing to stand before God and be judged by God alone because I accept the fact that God speaks to me, as the individual he created and not through somebody who thinks they have a monopoly on God. In Hind sight I wish I had walked right away from the Church but I enjoyed my social life/company of the parents and my children were happy at the school and had established their social structure. So I just put it down to the fact that maybe I was a little bit touchy and I continued working in the Parish as though nothing had happened although the priest did appear very, very withdrawn in my presence. But once again the Lies from this priest about what was expected of me The priests revelation to me that I was expected to let him judge me really got to me and I finished up telling my wife there was no way I would ever become Catholic but I was beginning to look at Catholicism in a different light. I was starting to see how these Priests were willing to be served but are not really interested in serving would demand respect but not give it . But they were willing to Play God more or less in the same manner as we used to Play Cowboys and Indians when we were little boys. The difference being that as little fellas we were always willing to swap roles.

 Cheers Ian Lawther.